I learn something new everyday

Tonight I learned that Ugly people dance soooo much harder and with a I don't give a fuck attitude so much more than pretty people....and big girls always wear something shiny!

Facebook is depressing me...

So i jumped on the Facebook bandwagon about a year ago....and i still dont get it. It's rich kids Myspace. Way too complicated....i signed up for all these little programs that people send me that are supposed to be fun. Somehow i signed up for one that lets people rank "how cute you are", or "who would date you".......i actually went on out of curiosity to see the people who would date me....and like 3 people out of god knows how many that looked at my profile said they would date me. So, i figure...3 people ain't that bad right? They must be some quality folks. Come to find out 2 of them were girls that i know...and one of them was a girl that didnt get the memo that i like dick not vag! Depressing....i came home and made myself 2 vodka tonics to chill out....i think i will have a few more....anyone know of a tall building i can jump off of and just end it all?

I sure didn't sign up for this.....

So there are many things in this world that annoy me. Tons! One of my biggest pet peeves is when people go to the bathroom and they don't check the toilet to make sure everything went down as it should. At my school we have 2 bathrooms that always smell like death. Like seriously....i blame the spanish speaking students...i always see them eating chili and all this crazy ethnic shit....i can just imagine what their insides look like....gross! So anyways, today i really needed to go to the bathroom so i sneak away from class and i go inside one of the private bathrooms after one of the spanish students (again, evidence that one of them is the culprit). So i lock myself in the bathroom and get ready to pull my pants down to pee...and i see that the toilet is like totally clogged and is filled to the top with pee and toilet paper still spinning around. I think to myself "fuck no am i dealing with this!". So i leave that bathroom....and thank god no one sees me coming out if it, because then of course the next person that goes in there is gonna think it was me. I go into the other bathroom, and lock the door, start unzipping my pants....then i see a massive shit still in the toilet from whoever was before me. Ugh, i felt like i was on a game show and like had to choose door number 1, 2, or 3.....and i chose the shitty door...LITERALLY! Now all of a sudden I'm responsible for this shit thats not even mine! I try to flush...and the water starts to rise in the toilet and the massive brown turd gets closer.....of course it wouldn't just go down on the first try right? for anyone else it would, but for me?? not so much. I am sure there is a special place is hell reserved for me. So i now have to grab the plunger and start to plunge away at the toilet, as i did this i couldn't help but feel like those girls at the Hot Dog on a Stick stands...pumping away at Lemonade. I always thought those girls must have been humiliated in those ridiculous outfits. Finally it gives way, and it goes down. By this time I'm like doing the pee-pee dance soo hard. I piss, wash my hands, and exit the bathroom...feeling a bit like the hero of the day, Then when i open the door....a line of studens needing to use the bathroom had formed....as i exit and the next person goes in he yells "damn, you stunk this place up good"........a deed gone unrewarded.....

Sexless and the City

I am sitting at home watching the tv show "men in trees", i have officially sunk to a new low. I have been frustrated lately because i realize i live a completely unhealthy gay lifestyle.

I don't really have any gay friends. I don't go to any gay clubs due to the fact that i have no gay friends. I have social anxiety and don't even know HOW to meet people. Sometimes i feel like I'm waiting around for a guy that will never come, but then again i think most single people gay or straight have these feelings at one time or another. Pickings seem sooo fuckin' slim in Los Angeles. Maybe its karma biting me in the ass?

Lord knows I've fucked with some minds in my younger days. All i know is that this is not good....I am wasting my gay youth...and we all know thats prime time! I feel like I'm wasting valuable fucking time, and when i say fucking time i literally mean FUCKING time....like i can be out getting laid right now....but I'm watching a show about people that live in Alaska!! How exciting can that be?!? I don't want to wake up one day when Im 40 years old (not that 40 is particularly old at all) but i don't want it to take me that long to realize i have to make an initiative to get out there and just go for it.

I have always been a go getter with everything else in my life. When i wanted to move to San Francisco, i packed up my car, with 300 dollars in my pocket i quit my job and said "fuck it!" and left. I lived there a year, and it was amazing. It was basically closing my eyes and jumping, just going for it. Why is it hard to do that now? Why is it hard to do with relationships? or Meeting boys? I'm a social retard.

Like 98% of my friends are straight, and the other 2% don't live in Los Angeles. I'm basically fucked, and not in the way i want to be. I am destined to be the Gay best friend for life. I hate all those romantic comedy movies that try and seem soo progressive by putting a gay best friend to counter the lead actress in her quest for love that was right in front of her face the whole time. All they ever end up doing is adding comic relief by being stereotypically gay, or by meddling in the love life of the lead actress. Thats what I am doomed to be. Comic relief. A fucking clown. I might as well be one of those Somalian girls with her clit cut off and her vag sewn up. Always a brides maid never a bride.

I know its fucked up to admit, but whenever i see couples together and they are like trolls or just busted...i always think to myself "Now if THEY can find someone, then why can't i!".......

Yummy...

Nothing like a little Milkshake to take the taste of Crocs out of your mouth

Fat Milkshake

Offensive to the eyes!

I was at my favorite taco stand waiting for my order today.....and this really hot guy was ordering food after me....as i waited for my food i stood there admiring his perfect face. As my eyes wandered i noticed his square jaw, his body which was amazing....and a million fantasies ran though my head...i actually think he caught me looking at him a time or two. My eyes traveled down inch by inch making me fall in love with him every step of the way....then i got to his feet. His fuckin' feet were a different story all together!! My eyes were made love to by his face...then brutally raped by Croc wearing feet!! I knew right then and there that he wasn't gay. No self respecting gay man would dare put those things on his feet. The only exceptions are the gay men that didn't get the memo about fauxhawks being out years ago....and those old gay men that i stare at and say to myself "please don't ever let me be THAT". I'm sorry, but what is this world coming to? Why do people insist on wearing Crocs!! Is it purely a comfort thing? or do people actually find them aesthetically pleasing??? Personally...I'd rather walk on broken glass than wear Crocs.....and those of you that know me....KNOW its true!! The day i wear Crocs is the day I'm lying in bed of a fuckin Coma and someone like my parents have put them on me. Of course they would! My mom buys me sweaters from J.C Penny or like some fuckin shit from Mervyn's.....then i always give her that look like..."do you even know me at all?", but really though..if your cankles cant hold up your body then its time to shove your finger down your throat or starve yourself....NOT wear Crocs to be more comfortable. Now that I've vented i feel much better...

Has it really come to this???

So in my boredom i stumbled upon a great website www.gayprisoners.net

Any of the people that know me out there already have heard my weird fantasies about having a cholo boyfriend. Maybe its because i grew up in San Gabriel Valley....or around a bunch of Cholas....but for some reason I have always had a thing for bad boys.

After looking through this website for about 2 hours....i started to feel like one of those crazy ladies that writes to prisoners, and then marries someone like Richard Ramirez....the night stalker (who i think is hot in a weird way)....maybe its not knowing if he would kiss you or bite your nose off....call me crazy..

Well anyways.....so reading these prisoners profiles...you think they sounds so nice and sweet.... because they are pretty much looking for the same thing we all are.."someone to spend my life with", "someone that likes nice dinners, and hanging out"...then you take a look at what they did and there are things like "Sexual Battery", "Attempted Murder", or "Rape".......ofcourse my favorite is a man that says.."i like to write. Sometimes i can be shy, and it can be hard for me to meet people"...then you read his crimes...and they list "Two counts attempted murder, 2 counts 1st degree burglary, theft by unlawful taking over $300.00, criminal mischief"...If thats fuckin shy...then i would hate to see him when he's outgoing!!

I swear, with some of the fucked up shit I've done to some guys....i would like be dead in a day if i dated any of these dudes.....But its fun to pretend....

Some people want the charming prince to ride in on a white horse and be swept away...I prefer to be kidnapped and held at gunpoint...you say tomato i say tomahto


here is an example of the kind of studs you can find on this site

Best of Both worlds...

what do you get when you cross a Chola and a Tranny?!? No, not me!

this lovely piece of video footage....

Angry Rant!!!

Slumlords......fuckin' Slumlords.....

I live in a great fuckin house in Silverlake.....prime location, amazingly furnished and decorated....We always throw great parties....and what you ask, what...is the downfall of all this greatness that i live.....well it comes in the form of 2 old ass Filipino Landlords who just wont fuckin die!! The mutherfuckers are older than dirt....probably older than the entire Country of the Philippines.......Lets examine the evidence... Construction all hours of the day to make more money....most of it which they wont even live to see, coming home to holes being punched into my ceiling and finding wood and shingle and debrit all over my bed, the Landlords coming into our house whenever they feel like it because they think it is THEIR house....and they are only letting us live in it, Nails being hammered into our walls sticking out of the hallway because of the construction.....and now rain leaking through my ceiling......

P. fuckin' S.....dont judge me for having an Animal printed blanket....ITS WARM....and my sheets are more expensive than yours, so fuck off!

P.S.S. If you want to live in a place that is "cool" to live.....or you hear is "all the rage".....make sure your landlords are either on a donor list, or have some fuckin terminal disease.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Lord bless Tyra, and Maury, and all the Cholas in the world...